Watch This Space

10 years ago, I moved away from the suburb I grew up in and vowed I'd never move back. I was 21, nearly at the end of my University Degrees and in my own mind, destined to achieve great things. I aced most of my Uni subjects, with an (almost) HD average. I only applied for one graduate position, because I knew I would get it, I was young and I was cocky. But for the most part of my life after University, I was drunk. I managed to hold decent jobs but had disastrous relationships and got evicted from one rental property after the next. To this day, I have very little to show for my 30+ years on this earth. Memories? Yes. Assets? Zilch.

I've lived in my current house for over 5 years but in the 5 years before that, I lived in 8 different houses. The house I'm in now, is a total shithole. I hated it the day I moved in and I still hate it now. I hate the suburb, I hate the street and I hate the memories. I moved into that house with my boyfriend aka 'the one' in early 2007. It was late 2008 when he packed up and left me for another woman. When he left, so too did the fragments of my white picket fence dream. He is the reason I don't fall in love, and he is the wall that keeps others from away. When he left, the house became a virtual backpackers hostel. Housemates and their pets came and left, the only thing that stayed the same, was me. That shitty old house, with it's shitty old memories, reflects my total failure of grown up life.

The only thing that has kept me there, is sheer laziness and the fact that I loathe moving. In early 2010, I decided to move back to the neighbourhood I grew up in. That was 2010 and I still haven't budged an inch.

There's always been good reasons for staying put. When I was pregnant, I didn't have the energy, then Max came along, then Max got sick, then Max had a full time schedule of appointments, then I nearly drove myself bonkers trying to be mum/physio/OT/breadwinner (etc). But now? I have no reason to stay.

I'm not exaggerating when I say, I want to hire a massive skip and dump most of my possessions in it. Most of it is worthless crap, shitty artefacts of my former life. I don't need those possessions to remind me of where I've been, because those scars are with me everywhere I go.

Last Summer, I swore I would be out of that house before another summer came around. It's almost the end of August, and Summer is only a few months away. It's about time I left.