Friday, 28 December 2012

Merry Christmas and Screw you Vodafone

Ok, so here's the preamble. I have been a customer with '3' for nearly 10 years. I'm addicted to my phone, so it's the only bill I can be guaranteed to pay on time. 3 is probably the only place where I have a good credit history. They even gave me loyatly upgrades. At some stage in the last 12 months, 3 was taken over by Vodafone and although it didn't affect me immediately, I felt uneasy. A few months ago, I couldn't hold out any longer, my iphone was dying and I needed a new one. This meant *cue scary music*, switching to Vodafone. Now hate, is a very strong word and one I don't use flippantly. But, I hate Vodafone.

Every year at Christmas my family stays in a nice little cottage, in Hepburn Springs (aka in the bush). There has never been phone or internet reception there, and I can deal with that. It's good for me to have some mandated time away from social networking, cos I'll be damned if I have the willpower to stop myself.

The last few years, we've rented a cottage for ourselves in the adjoining suburb of Daylesford. This year, I booked 2 nights, so it would feel like a real getaway. Daylesford does have phone and Internet connection. So, at least I can get my 'hit' at the end of the day. That is, unless you're with Vodafone, in which case you get nothin. When I realized this, I felt sick. 48 hours without Internet, to a self confessed addict is pretty horrifying.
(Now, for anyone who wants to criticize me for my addiction, please feel free. Though be aware in doing so, that (a) I doubt you've got a criticism I haven't already heard, (b) In most instances, I will have a counter argument, and (c) I don't care)

For the first 24 hours, I was fine, liberated even. But after that, I started feeling a bit lost. It was Christmas Day and I couldn't even post my obligatory 'Merry Christmas' status update. This brings me to the really sad part, I pulled out a pen and paper and began writing tweets/statuses instead. I took plenty of photos and mentally thought up captions to go on Instagram. Our Christmas, went something like this.......

Max is perplexed about why he's getting presents, instead of toasties for breakfast

Oops. I forgot to buy a present for Sebastian.

The cleaning lady, didn't leave us any toilet paper. Here I am, at 7am, in the main street of Daylesford looking for toilet paper. All that's missing is a few tumbleweeds.

This is the service station that wasn't meant to open until 8am. I begged the staff to let me in, thankfully she took pity on poor ol toilet paperless me.

On the way back to the cottage, I stopped past the ATM to grab some cash. I was gone less than a minute and in that time, my car battery died. Insert a few expletive tweets, here _________.
So I trudged up the hill to our cottage, all the while, muttering obscenities about cars, hills and being overweight. Until, I finally got back to 'our place'.

And Max had already had a bath with his new toys.

When we went back to the car, it spluttered a bit but eventually started. Thank goodness for Christmas Miracles.
(Note to self: need new car battery)

I had some last minute cards to write but by this stage, I was feeling a bit frazzled.

Then off we trooped off to the little cottage in the bush, where the rest of my family were staying.

The definite highlight of the day, was my father dressing up as Santa Clause, just for Max. I do wonder what Max must be thinking when he keeps seeing blokes in red suits everywhere. Have the grown ups gone crazy?

You look a bit like my Pa.


The first of many. He was definitely spoilt!

I think my mum has a crush on Santa ;)

Had to jump in for a selfie.

I had hoped Max would last through Christmas lunch before having his nap. But he was sick (again!!), worn out and grouchy as hell. My mum took him for a nap and I sooked like a hormonal teenager. I really wanted him to have lunch with us and I was angry because of his damn immune system, being so damn crap. It feels like every second week, he's an agitated boogery mess. I took some photos whilst I was in my 'poor me' mood (trust me, I know I was being pathetically sulky)

The space where Max and Mum should've been

Max's Christmas lunch (with his beloved Aunty Tara)

Max scored some great new toys from Santa.

Now he can help Daddy mow the lawns

Loves his toddler quad bike, he's a terrible driver though!

Apparently Spinosaurus needed pacifying.

Giving kisses to 'Old Pa' (his great grandfather, Maxwell Senior)

Ah, you know. Just bein' cute.

By the time we headed back to our cottage, we were all pretty zonked.

I love this little road, it's so pretty.

Once Max was asleep, I felt a bit lost without my Internet. I resorted to a few glasses of champagne and this.....

Still as frustrating yet addictive as ever.

I also had a bit of fun playing around with Max's new 'Elf on the Shelf'. I'm going to publish the pictures in another post, but here's a sneak peak

So, that was our Christmas and I'll admit, I'm a little sad it's all over. I had fun taking Max to a whole stack of Christmas events and parties. It was even more fun, dressing him in hideously adorable costumes (he's gunna hate me so much when he's older). I didn't bake a single Christmassy biscuit, inspired by Pinterest and I don't see that changing in 2013. There is one thing that will be changing though in 2013.......

........Vodafone will not be invited.

Merry Christmas everyone.
(unless you're Vodafone, in which case there's no Merry anything for you)

1 comment:

  1. Merry Christmas! My favorite part about this is that you actually hand wrote tweets and captions. You're hilarious! I'm sad it's all over too. It all goes by too fast. Max is looking more and more adorable every day. What a cute little blondie he is!