Saturday, 30 June 2012

What's on your mind?

It's the question, Facebook asks me everytime I update my status. "What's on your mind?". Hmmmm, that's a pretty broad question, can u narrow it down a bit? In recent weeks, there's been so many things 'on my mind', it's started to gnaw away at me. So many fucking things to think about, I don't know where to start.

For the most part, I can produce a positive counter argument for every negative thought I have. But right now, I don't want to, I can't be bothered. It's shit, it's not fair and I'm over it.

I'm drowning in the multiple debts, I accumulated during my 20's. I miss my dog, I'm in a miserable relationship and work has been intense. So much responsibility sits on these shoulders, I crave for someone to swoop in and take over. Even if it's only for a day.

The chronicity of this journey has perhaps only just started to sink in. The hidden problems that have started revealing themselves, slap me across the face like a cold, wet fish. I'm the hamster in the wheel, running all day long but getting nowhere.

So, for this post I'm abandoning the silver lining I usually find for every cloud and saying "F*ck you stroke. Why'd you choose my baby? And why the f*ck did you choose me?"

And that's what's on my mind.

1 comment:

  1. I've been following your blog for a while now and am in awe of you. You and beautiful Max have been through way too much and I wish things would get easier for you. I don't have the answers just cyber hugs for you. Please hang in there.