Friday, 1 March 2013

Dear Stroke

Dear Stroke,

I know you're probably busy, disrupting people's lives, so I'll keep this brief.

Firstly, I'd like to say thank you for not taking my sons life. You gave it a damn good shot, but slipped up by choosing a respiratory arrest, rather than a cardiac. Thanks for shutting his little body down so much, they couldn't insert an IV. The doctors had to drill into his shin, the screams were so piercing, a part of me died right there. I thank you for the perspective this moment gave me. I will never be fazed by grazed knees and bumped heads.

Thank you for ruining any chance I had of being a 'normal' mother with 'normal' problems. Thank you for destroying so many motherhood rites of passage. I could've been stressing about Tizzie Halls sleep schedules, but instead, I was watching my son slowly & painfully wake from a coma. Thanks for that. I now know, I have the strength to keep going even when my heart is breaking.

Thank you for taking me to the most terrifying place on earth. The place where the reality of losing your child, haunts every thought. And thanks for the hours I spent fearing my son would never walk, talk or live an independent life. You taught me to appreciate the simplest of things.

Why did you choose a 10 week old boy? Why did you choose my baby? Despite all the therapy in the universe, he'll never regain the full function of his right arm. You took that away from him, when he was only a precious, little baby. I'll make peace with that eventually but I'll always despise you.

But here's the thing Stroke. My son is not a victim and neither am I. Despite everything you took from us on June 2nd, you haven't won. You might see me cry, you might hear me thinking how much I hate you. You might even hear me say "I quit" but I'll never stop fighting. I'll fight for my son and I'll fight against you. Because you're the big, dumb bully in the playground, picking on people who never stood a chance. Not all strokes are preventable, and sometimes the cause isn't even known. So, let me tell you one more thing Stroke, SCREW YOU, I'm gunna kick your ass.

Yours Sincerly,

**** You can learn more about how to fight stroke by checking out the National Stroke Foundations Website, here ****

1 comment:

  1. Faith, you wrote what I feel daily and it brought me to tears. Best wishes for you and your gorgeous son xo Peta.