Going home soon

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks since we arrived at hospital. I struggle trying to comprehend that we've been here that long. Max hasn't had a platelet transfusion in over a week, his blood pressure has largely settled down and his physio is going well. We are going home on Saturday! This is a daunting thought and one that's taken me a little while to accept. It seems strange that only a few weeks ago I was desperate to go home but now I'm scared. Being in hospital has become my security blanket and now I have to let that go. It makes me feel a little sad that the boy I'm taking home isn't the same little man I left home with all those weeks ago. My baby now has permanent brain damage and this reality will probably hit me once we leave. That's not gunna get me down though. I still have my son and other families are not so lucky. There is no point in ruminating over the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys', I can only look forward to the journey we have ahead of us. We have a massive schedule of outpatient appointments and I'm glad because it'll keep me busy and (most importantly) focused. The thing I'm looking forward to the most is falling asleep in my big comfy bed with Max lying next to me. I've missed that more then anything.