Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Wednesday 8th of June- withdrawing the ventilator

The next few days after Max woke up were rough. It was now apparent that he was quite a different little boy but how much of this was simply due to medication would be unclear for several days. He was grumpy and not surprisingly he had one hell of a headache. Listening to him try and cry was heartbreaking. His face would screw up and his mouth would open but nothing would come out (tho I am now pleased to report that he has his 'voice' back). He didnt look at me like I was his mummy anymore and this was hard. His facial droop got better almost overnight and this gave me hope.
Finally on Wednesday it was decided to wean Max off his ventilator and later that afternoon it was removed completely. Seeing him for the first time without it was a shock, his face looked naked! I was also scared with it gone because it was reassuring knowing that a machine would be there to breathe for him if he couldn't do it himself. About an hour after the ventilator was removed I was finally able to hold my little boy again. As they placed him in my arms (slightly complicated by all his tubes) it felt better then the first time I ever held him. He cried and cried- the nurse reckons that babies always do this when they get back in their mothers arms. She's believes that the bub is telling mum all about the horrible things they've had to endure in ICU. I could handle that theory so let him cry his eyes out until he fell asleep in my arms.


  1. Faith - you are an inspiration. Your blog has brought me to tears. Thankyou for being willing to share your story. You are so strong! x

  2. The part about max crying in your arms to tell you what he's been through was possibly the most moving part of this entire blog!

    I have the biggest lump in my throat.

    You and Max are going to have the most amazing bond for the rest of your lives!