Saturday, 13 August 2011

Sometimes I wonder

Recently Max has decided that he's a tummy sleeper. I've found him a couple of times in this position. Like I don't already have enough stress little man!
Sometimes I wonder how I'm coping. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't fallen in a heap. Sometimes I wonder if all the stress will catch up with me. Sometimes I have one of those days where I feel so damn sad and feel that life isn't fair. Today is one of those days. I don't have them often and I'm glad when I do because it's nice to experience real human emotions. I don't remember the last time I felt human. I'm more of a robot and that's how I cope. The hardest thing about having a sad day is that it makes people awkward. They want to have the 'right' words to say and they want to make things better. Some of the things people say is so ridiculous I can only laugh. The worst/funniest thing that someone said was "oh well, he may just be a bit slow. Like a person from the country". Ergh right. I've now conjured up an image of Max turning out something like 'Cletus the slack jawed local' from the Simpsons, mixed in with Forrest Gump. I'm not a violent person but I wanted to slap him.....until he bled. Sometimes I wonder why some people bother to open their mouths.


  1. I have only just today found yours and Max's story (via a friend's facebook post) and sat here and read through every single post from the first until now. I am amazed by your strength. I have rejoiced with each victory as I read of them. And I am not a doctor, nor do I have any connection to the medical world. I DO have two children that, somehow, miraculously, survived to become adults in spite of my ineptitude as a mother. I just wanted to say today (as I've been saying for years) that "stupid people shouldn't breed..." and I'm with you - slap that man until he bleeds! Obviously his parents should never have had children.

    Okay I've gone on long enough - just know that someone over here in Nebraska USA is pulling for you all.

  2. Wow. Thank you Janice. Everyones support and kind words helps more than you know xxx