Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Sometimes life gets lonely
I like the picture above. I wanted to find a picture that could sum up how I feel sometimes. It's a long path, but it's a nice path and one that I could spend forever walking. That's how I feel about Max. I know that we have a long journey ahead of us, but I look forward to it. As long as I have my son, I have my happy place.
I have so many friends who have babies and before Max got sick I was getting into a great routine of visiting them. Now we either don't have time or I don't really want to. Seeing other babies makes me sad. Seeing other babies reminds me of the time when life was easy. Ok, so being a parent is never easy but when your child see's 10+ specialists, it's a little more complicated. I find it hard to relate to other parents now because I'm jealous. There. Said it. I'm jealous. I'm jealous because their kids are healthy and don't need to work as hard as my son does. I know that no one is jealous of me. Secretly, I know that people are glad that they aren't me.
But even though I'm jealous sometimes and maybe a bit lonely, I'm not depressed. Life has dealt me this hand for a reason and I'm strong enough to deal with it.